I didn't have the perfect childhood filled with the love and support I craved. It wasn't because my parents weren't loving, it was because they weren't perfect. They too were healing the parts of themselves that were unintentionally damaged by the harsh realities of life. I lost my brother when I was a little girl and didn't realize that I had witnessed his passing or my mother trying desperately to save him.
We all suffer tragedies and loss. It's just a natural part of the human condition. We may be disappointed that things didn't turn out the way we would have liked, and this can keep us in a dangerous cycle of fear, regret, and sadness. Depending on the volume of unfortunate events in our lives, we can get stuck in unconscious patterns that keep us feeling down.
When we're stuck in a fear cycle, it can be difficult to see that happiness still lives within us too. Happiness is something that we experience all the time if we just look for it.
The subconscious mind holds on to everything. We just don't realize it. When we brush our teeth we do it unconsciously, because our subconscious has stored the information when we learned how to do it. We are all acting unconsciously. So, if you're stuck in a pattern of negative thinking and despair chances are you've been conditioned to be that way. The good news is you can change it.
The key to your happiness is cultivating a harmonious heart-mind relationship. It means allowing your negative feelings to be expressed, while at the same time creating new happiness within. It is within your power. You can do it. I can help.
I've been actively seeking my happiness and despite all the disappointments that life can sometimes bring, I find myself grateful, happy and fulfilled the majority of the time. Being happy doesn't mean never experiencing sadness, grief or disappointment it means being able to access the happiness we've already created to create more of the same.
I can't create happiness for you, but I can help you discover how to create and access it within yourself. As a psychic empath, I can understand where you're hurting and how to release the emotions you've been afraid to let go. I am strong enough to go through those emotions with you, because I know that the truly beautiful being that you are underneath is love. I've been conditioned to feel with others. This is my life purpose.
Let me help you become the best version of you.
I woke up this morning and my guides were nudging me to share my thoughts given to me by spirit and I finally sat down after months of not writing blogs to compose this one. Many spiritual people talk about how the earth is a school. My teacher, James Van Praagh, is one of those teachers who reiterates this philosophy and I whole-heartedly agree. My guides took it a step further and explained to me that this isn't just a school, but a training ground for consciousness itself. The obstacles we face are divine challenges that we put in place for ourselves continually.
Our light body, the part of us that is infinite, yearns for expansion beyond its original vibration. The only way to accomplish this is to create resistance. The tougher the life lessons, the more growth we can accomplish. We come to this earth without a good recollection of what we're doing here, because our light body is already pure love. If we remembered this entirely, no resistance would occur. So the primary goal of each being on earth is to push through our obstacles to find ourselves underneath them.
We can never fully remember our identity as a light body while we're on earth, we only catch glimpses. It can be experienced more fully through meditation, altered states of consciousness, and Near Death Experiences. The more we recognize our light body while on earth, the more we expand. This doesn't just benefit us, it benefits the collective and the collective is beyond human understanding.
Another goal of our light body is to be recognized by others. We achieve this through authenticity, which is the light body's chosen expression on earth for this incarnation. It means to fully embrace the role we've chosen, whatever that may be. Each role was created to expand the collective. If someone is fully embracing their role, we feel it. The light body is activated by others who are fully embracing their role.
We are ALL here for the greater good because we are all infinitely connected. Every single one of us is a "lightworker" because we are light body beings in a flesh suit (manifested by ourselves). We aren't so much warriors on this planet fighting evil or darkness as much as we are spiritual bodybuilders expanding consciousness beyond its original form.
We are brave and strong beings that devised limitations to be overcome. That is why we are so inspired by people who overcome challenges. We can feel the lift it gives us. They are transmitting an invisible frequency that alters every single one of us, but they're not the only ones expanding the collective. We need resistance to overcome, so some light beings come here to give us that experience. They create experiences for us to overcome. If there was no resistance, there would be no growth. Many times the resistance that we are attempting to overcome is self-created and that is part of our divine makeup. We are doing our part. Every single being on this planet is doing their part, if they're performing the role that has been designed.
Once we embrace our role fully, we begin to find more peace within. The stillness is accomplished when we've pushed through those obstacles we've created to find ourselves within. That's when we truly love ourselves.
We are given everything we need to perform our role in our bodies. We choose our bodies before we incarnate. So when we alter our bodies with anything, we're weakening our spiritual muscles. I know a lot of people are going to disagree with this stance, but it's important that I put it out there because my guides want me to express this to those who need to hear it.
Alcohol, marijuana, and other substances weaken your connection with your light body, numbing the challenges so you don't recognize them. If you can't recognize them, you can't address them. The obstacles don't go away, but instead get stored in your light body itself. It becomes a distortion of your vibration. The frequency that you then emit attracts additional distorted energies which is depression (depression of your obstacles into your light body). the collective then interprets you as a challenge to be addressed. This is why some people reach out to those in pain, it is the collective's way of growing. We want to help people overcome obstacles because it creates growth. It's all done in love.
We create our resistance, our obstacles, and our goals. It isn't all done before we incarnate because the collective is expanding and growing continually. We adapt our role to the energies around us. Our light body interprets all the energy and alters its vibration to continue to play the role we agreed upon.
If you're not doing your part, you'll feel it. You'll feel as if something is fundamentally wrong. This is your light body signaling to you to make changes. If you're numb, you won't understand the message. You won't be able to hear it. We're never alone because we're all connected, constantly responding to the energies around us.
We're meant to reach out for help when we know something isn't working and we're meant to be helped. Spirit knows.
How Old is Your Soul?
We've all heard people say "He or she is an old soul." In a meditative state, I sat down and asked for an explanation. Here's what I learned.
Q: How old is my soul?
A: As old as everyone and as young as everything. All souls are the same age, infinite. We are all one, therefore we are all the same age.
Q: If we are all the same age, then why are some people wiser than others? Where does this knowledge come from?
A: We are all the same age because time does not exist.
Q: If time does not exist how are there past lives?
Q: What are cycles?
A: Before I explain a cycle, remember that time does not exist, but consciousness does. Wherever you are “conscious” is where you are. It is the now. It is the I AM statement and it is your current rotation. It is the cycle that you’re experiencing.
Q: Which cycle am I on?
A: An advanced rotation of this life form, a cycle of this life…not your first and not your last. Time does not exist; therefore, you do not exist in it. What you’re experiencing right now is a choice. This incarnation of you is the one you chose to be conscious of right now. All other versions of you, all other incarnations also exist, but your consciousness does not exist there. Your energy is present here.
Q: How is my energy here and how does it work with me consciously?
A: Energy has no age, but it does have frequency, vibration, and intensity.
Q: What is intensity?
A: Intensity is why some people seem to be older souls than others. It is intensity that defines how advanced spiritually someone is because this is how much energy has been put into their spiritual bodies. The availability of this energy is dependent on how many rotations of each lifetime have been experienced. It has nothing to do with age or time, but rather frequency and vibration of the spiritual body. The term “old soul” is used but physical age has nothing to do with it.
I wrote this piece shortly after "Eternity" and I believe I'm explaining in some detail what happens before we incarnate.
I became aware so suddenly, almost as if it were now. I wanted to explain myself, but I had no mouth to speak, no ears to hear, and no hands to gesture for my feelings. I found another way, instantly. It was all so easy that it was hard to comprehend. Whatever I decided to do, I did and I made it all happen. To put destiny into my hands should have been a crime, because I viewed all the alternatives and chose the one I thought I wanted, or the one I thought was best for all I encountered, sometimes, I was wrong.
I knew without failing, I could never win, but it wasn't the kind of winning that most understand. It wasn't a conquering of someone or an object of achieving, it was a sensation that things were in their proper place. The majority of the time I was somewhere, but this place is a kind of void, a void not empty, but vast and full. Full of it all and me, and I was. And I am.
I have pages and pages of ramblings from when I was channeling (automatic writing). This one is about divine presence. It was written sometime between August 1989 and December of 1990.
At first, I thought I was crazy. All the notions I had received, the feelings I grew to understand, all of it was so odd. A mere distraction in my life was inevitable, the mind so vast and full that it is nearly impossible to continue with one complete thought without the presence of a new intrusive thought whether desired or not. Constant continual motion of thought, never ending. Consciousness, thought. Unconsciousness, thought. An ever presence.
All at once I understood whatever was necessary, it was only then I understood presence.
If all things were as apparent as this,
We would not have eyes, but could see,
No ears, but could hear,
No mouths, but could speak,
And would feel without hands,
and would feel, and would know,
In the beginning of my senior year in high school, I was sitting in history class and zoning out. The information that we were covering was something I had already learned by reading our history book. I should have been paying attention, but instead I wrote this passage. I didn't realize I was a channeler and I had never heard of automatic writing.
As the light became brighter, I realized I was no longer human. No longer of any recognizable shape or form, but I was yet still real. I had mental awareness that I was, but what was I? Why me?
Then I saw my house, and then the stars in the sky and the stillness around me comforted me. The next thing I knew, I was inside my house not touching anything, but touching everything. It was then tat it occurred to me that I was alone. I roamed the house frantically, searching for someone, anyone but house was empty, and I felt somehow, so was I.
A flash of light occurred and there I was, a child again. I could see me, but I wasn't me. I watched as days would go by, faster and faster, and I felt each emotion again. But I was watching. And when I, this child was sad, I comforted myself.
Each passing day seemed like a memory, but it was reality. Every main event of my life I watched like a television show. I saw everything, the cruelty, the kindness, and I felt it. If something was going to happen, I warned myself. Sometimes I would listen, and sometimes I would not. I seemed to watch everything from my birth until the last breath of my...as the light became brighter.
The whole world is hurting right now. The emotions stirring inside of us are very real. A storm has been brewing for some time and now its hit. Everyone handles a storm differently. Some people actually chase them, finding the destruction of nature fascinating. Some people prepare by bunkering down in their homes waiting it out. Others pretend it's not real or that an act of God will spare them. The storm hits no matter what.
When the Corona virus hit us, a lot of us weren't prepared. We weren't prepared for losing people we loved. We weren't prepared for our hysterical neighbors who were afraid of what would happen and bought all the toilet paper. We looked at them with contempt and disgust, but they were afraid. They were afraid that the world was ending. They were afraid that not having enough would make them vulnerable. Again, nature doing what it does.
When we learned about another black man being brutally killed by the police, something snapped. The dam of emotions that we were trying so hard to hold back, came flooding out into the streets and on social media. All of the things that we fear are pouring out of us right in front of our eyes. We weren't prepared for this, but acts of nature don't wait for us to be prepared.
Everyone is afraid right now. All of the emotions of everyone you know, raw. We are all emotionally vulnerable. The repressed pain of our ancestors is being unleashed like nothing we've ever known. We're being reminded we're only human.
For a moment I ask you, I beg you, to look at yourself with kindness like you would look at a newborn baby. This is our level of emotional vulnerability right now. When you start to treat yourself with this level of understanding, I ask you to look at your neighbor the same way. If your neighbor was a newborn baby would you shake your fists at them for being scared or hungry or tired? That's what we're doing right now when we challenge each other.
At our most vulnerable is how we have to start looking at each other. As if we are all newborn babies being exposed to the harshness of being human for the very first time. This is where our power lies. We need to shift our perspective right now. We need to give each other the support and encouragement we need to feel safe and loved. This is the ultimate act of compassion and love.
Every single one of us has a unique contribution to offer in this lifetime. We are potential not yet actualized. That is the gift inside us. No matter what you've been taught to fear, you can overcome it. We can do it together, but only from a place of forgiveness and love.